I owed this text a long time ago. It will be big but time has passed and it has settled so much that it is pushing to come out.
It is sometimes that your life accidentally intersects with someone else’s life and you finally realize that you would probably lose everything if you did not know him. He was then a doctor in England. My first book happened to fall into his hands. As soon as he read it he wanted to send me an email, to tell me about what he thinks is wrong, to help me have a child. But he did not send it because he thought I would be ashamed to answer, I would pass him off as crazy or for another spam. And he was not wrong. The emails I received then were infinite and with the most deafening things. The most touching of course was of a young chemist who had access to pharmaceutical companies and offered me free medicine. I thanked her and overcame it because I did not feel well. Obviously I would do the same with him.
So this doctor, after working for some years in England, came to Greece and got a job at the IVF center that I visited in recent years. One morning when I went for my treatment, the girls told me laughing that their new doctor recommended my book and suggested that they read it. And of course they told him that they know me personally and that the book talks about their own doctors. He definitely asked to meet me. They introduced us the same morning. He took me aside, told me that he had been sending me mail for a long time, we left neighborhoods in Nice and he confessed to me that before reading it he had no idea how his patients felt. Also how he probably understood what was going on with my health. He asked me for an appointment to talk. He said he was trying a new treatment abroad that was in an experimental stage. She offered to send me the papers and read me her very encouraging statistics. He wanted to take me on a non-profit basis. I was a little hesitant. Another doctor, another hope, running again from the beginning. Of course, it was him or an egg donor. And of course I chose the first one hoping that a more painless solution might be found.
I do not know exactly how this happened but from that moment on it is as if this man precisely defined the steps until the birth of my little one. From the operation to the conception, from the medicines I would need to every detail, she announced it with such simplicity that I wondered. Everything he had planned, he knew in advance. Me of course not. I just said yes and I was psychologically prepared for the first surgery. The one that with tiny scissors would make many incisions and make it says bottom to colonize new cells. I do not even know how many nights I read about it and how many of what he said demolished what I knew until then. I knew for example that many times after conception you have to take cortisone so that the body does not see the new cells as an enemy and sends antibodies and kills them. No, he was telling me. This is incorrect. No cortisone. You need to find a way for the body to understand that this is an arrest and not to cover it up. I may say nonsense now because I do not remember very well but the summary is that his actions were always very different from those I had encountered. For anything, of course, he sent me links, read me statistics and mostly talked to me for hours. I have never encountered this before.
With infinite force I reached my month. It’s my fault because he was always confident and calm. If he saw a problem he said it in the cold, he immediately found the solution and that was it. No melodramas, no panic. And if sometimes I was a little excited, he would tell me straight “you have the right to be happy only when the pediatrician gives you the child and tells you that it is healthy”. And he landed me. But he was calm and my antennas had caught that from the first moment. And if sometimes my shame caught me and I was late to call him for questions, he would take me. “You have two umbilical cords until you give birth. One with the baby and one with your doctor. Call me more often “.
The big day had arrived. Another surprise from him. In the delivery room, apart from him and the midwife, he had arranged for me to have an anesthesiologist for his wife. Which, in addition to being an anesthesiologist, was also my constant hug for as long as I had to recover from the sobs. Which of course I did not meet (the other girls upstairs when we met said the same thing: “aaaa you are the one who cried in recovery…”. That was me).
But even the caesarean section, this incredible doctor did it in his own way. He explained them to me in detail. He does not make an incision like everyone from top to bottom in the abdomen. He makes a thin incision in the skin and roughly opens the rest with his fingers up to the bag. Bliah I said when he explained them. But then I realized how fantastic that was. The first day I went down for coffee in the living room and that same night I slept like a bird while the other girls did not turn a blind eye to the pain. They asked me the next morning if I was sure I had a caesarean section. He patiently, as always, explained it to me again. He did not cut muscles, only a little skin and a small hole in the bag. It was just a superficial wound in a nutshell, which in a few days was like I never had surgery. And of course, everything I write is nothing compared to the many he had to fight for nine months. History of miscarriage, unicorn, thrombophilia, diabetes, sciatica, my age and how many more.
The day before yesterday we met for coffee. Me, my husband and my child. And he across the street was laughing at us. Every three or so he would ring the phone and calmly reassure panicked pregnant women of a thousand and two phobias with his well-known jokes. And he made them laugh. I too had run out of words. How to make him understand how important what he does, what he did to my family…
And when I say thank you, he does not accept it, he points up and says “god”.